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Dear Wonderful Men,

I am writing on behalf of all women (I hope).  This letter is especially oriented for men in relationships with women, long term relationships, marriages and short term relationships for that matter!  I want to talk about your desire to have more.  We all want more.  More love, more freedom, more fun!  We honor you.  We want that too.  Everyone wants to feel free and happy, right?

Let me explain a few things to you that will surely get that DIVA you are working with on the right page about the relationship.  She needs your love and I know you need her respect and both of you can have BOTH!  Easy as pie!

The trick is simple. In this letter, I offer four ways for you to take your relationship to the next level.

I guess I’m talking to men today because of all the emails I get from men who say:

“I want my wife or lover to open up in the ways you have to your husband  – but she won’t let me do anything like that.  She would kill me if she knew I were writing you!”

I guess these men are talking about the open relationship piece.  But there are a few things that must be in tact in a primary relationship before women will even consider doing anything outside the norm.  Women are VERY conservative.

This is from the heart…

POWER

First and foremost a woman has to feel secure in her relationship with you.  What do I mean?  Well, she has to know that you are taking full responsibility for her and her needs and that you would literally die for her!  She really doesn’t want to ask.  She wants you to just show up right and be powerful for her, sit her down, get her comfortable.  Now that may sound extreme, but any man can do this.  Some of you might think I am talking about money, but that is only half the battle.  Money or not, she needs to feel your presence like a hot, hard, energy right there making sure she is safe, cared for and protected.  The best way to accomplish this is up to you!  I am not in the business of telling men what to do.  But I will tell you what women want to feel.

LEADERSHIP 

Secondly, women want to feel like they are with a dynamic leader.  I call this the Barack Obama Effect.  They want to know that you are strong enough to be the head of the kingdom you call home.  We modern ladies are a tough bunch.  We have been trained to be men in our modern schools and homes.  So we are truly, at heart, looking for a man who can be so much of a man that we are actually inclined to sit the F down and shut the F up!  LOL!  OK, enough with the jokes.  I mean we just want to know that our man is strong enough to lead us.  If we are acting out of the box, we want your diplomacy and CEO qualities to come out.  Manage us!  We may not admit it, but we like to be managed.  Especially when the management is fair, concise and based on wisdom and light.  Be our guests!  Take the reigns.  Be fair with us.  Overlook some of our honery traits and see who we are on the inside, just as you expect of us!

WISDOM 

Another thing we need to know is that you men have a source of wisdom.  We know that you have BIG dreams and we support those dreams, in fact we birth your dreams from our wombs not just as children, but as literal things from nothing to something!  However, we need to know that you have a counselor, an advisory board supporting you in your choices.  We love to follow brilliant men, all men are brilliant, but no man is an Island.  We love to know that you are going to others who support  you in making wise choices for yourself, your family, your career and your relationship!  This is so sexy!  To know that we are following a king who follows kings!  We love to know that you are humble enough to ask for support from those who have been there.  You are HOT enough to set the tone in our relationship based on sound, solid, advise from others who are just as wise as you and have traveled the road you desire to travel.

COMMUNICATION

Finally, we ladies need to know what’s happening.  We need you to learn the gift of gab.  No, we don’t expect for you to be a woman and show your emotions on your sleeve.  But we want you to communicate your ideals and goals to us.  We want you to use your logical reasoning faculty to create words and strings of words that tell us (we are thinkers, we are over thinkers) what we are doing, where we are going and who we are expected to be in the relationship.  I personally love it when my husband sets the tone in my home.  I love it when he uses communication skills to put me down with the plan.  Sure, he stopped doing this for quite a while when I had nasty things to say about his BIG ideas and RISKY plans.  But I have since learned to listen to him, to compliment him, and to accept his mode of thinking as different from my own.  You know I show the other ladies how to do this, so you’re safe with us now!

SEXUAL HEALING

Finally, we want you to combine all four of these luscious qualities in the bedroom.  We want strong and secure, diplomatic and giving, wise and intuitive, plus communicative.  Tell us that we are GODDESSES in the bed as we love, show us your strength and virility, be giving in the bedroom, you are there to give us your sexy maleness and we receive that, we honor you for it, and finally, use your intuition and wisdom to know what we need most.  We trust you!  Encourage us to just enjoy sexual energy and tell us to just float away in the bedroom.  Tell us to be FREE and to OPEN and to be BLISSFUL.  Give us permission to experience joy without thinking of your needs.  Let us know that your needs are fulfilled in the simple fact that you feel good to fulfill our needs for sensual bliss.  We are open and ready to receive all the yummy goodness you embody.

Things are simple, right? Once we have a man like you doing these four things and the fifth, a combination of all male qualities in the bedroom, we can get deep with you.  We will become vulnerable and sweet with you.  And we will not make you wait until you have this down pat!  We open to you even as you move toward these traits.  We are infinitely patient and understanding.  As long as we see you walking this path, we feel safe.  We release the past and open to a bright new day.  It is when we experience these depths that we feel free enough to allow for more that you crave.

If you want more free time, less neediness from us, more freedom, less controlling from us, more fun, less jealousy from us about your female friends and so forth, then let’s build a solid foundation.  Of course, as I can only speak from the voice of Kenya K on this one, the possibilities for MORE are infinite if and only if there is a strong foundation in monogamous love.  We do not want to plan for the day when we have to open to your MORE.  We only want to live in the NOW of your eternal love.  Again, women are conservative.  But we are willing to slip into a knowing that things are always changing and will never stay the same.  What we want most of all is to feel your deepest commitment to us.  Give us this by showing us the above four traits and we will see to it that we both get all we need in life and love – in the long run.  I promise.